I wish I could teleport
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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