if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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