I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
