I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.