i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.