i already hear my dad disowning me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I intend to get homeless drunk
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"