Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

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(330): View more from Ohio

fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever

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(585): View more from New York

I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.

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(317): View more from Indiana

well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.

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(434): View more from Virginia

we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.

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(713): View more from Texas

I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome

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