youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.