i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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