I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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