So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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