I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
