my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the condom got lost in my hair
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
