I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize