can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
