Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
