Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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