Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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