I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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