eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize