Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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