I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
They have beer where we have blood.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i believe in u and ur pee
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
