She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i think i just lost a toe
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