dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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