my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
