ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You are a booty call, not a friend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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