Me too!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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