Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize