Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Couch. On fire.
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