If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
