Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize