That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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