I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
