Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
