Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
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Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies