No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.