Im at strip club and am horny
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
