I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive