You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.