I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.