So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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