I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize