I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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