it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
