I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
