He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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