FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
