I want to have your abortion
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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