I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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