Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
