I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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