yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
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proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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