Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
