pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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