Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
