i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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