You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
