i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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