i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
