Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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