you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
