Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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