I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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