I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
