dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
