Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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