sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
