I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
