I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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