whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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