i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
