I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
