If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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