Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
two words...techno handjob
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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