I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
