I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Shame - the story of my life.
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