Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize