Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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