Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
